My Deep Meditation

During the past few day of meditation, i came to know that our mind is a magical instrument… Our mind is wonderful teacher of ourselves. We kept reflecting and telling story, our own story that we create.

When we allow our quiet mind to be present, to see what is happening, to face and to think why it happened. When this happened our mind will teach ourselves and we will start learning it. In order to be mindfulness in our daily activties, this quiet mind must be there all the time so that it can you will be able to see what is happening. Observes and accept it is the most important things. I have read books of mindfulness in the past, then i thought, “is that so?” I thought it is only a theory that human made up. But now i know its a true thing! Im someone who loves to judge, loves all the facts and evidence so i thought this kind of things is a make up many years ago. Our knowledge from books is not enough, we must have the insight, the taste then we will know. Its like when we see a mango we know it is a mango but we do not know the taste. Then we have to cut the mango to taste it with our tongue and sense will tell you if it is sweet or sour. 

I start believing what i have read is true after my meditation. Our mind got the power of teaching ourselves but we have problem with our physical body. Why? Because we react to situation and our mind is not in quiet mode then the cycle continue and then see we are suffering. Yet, most of us do not know or aware of our own suffering..

Training of our mind and this physical body is necessary because of the accumulation of ‘Dirt’ we are not clear.

Yesterday, i when for sun gazing, it was still drizzling its has been raining for a few days already. The world climate had change someplaces are having terrible floods people are suffering terribly.

The sun told me that he is feeling sick!! Our mother earth too!! Before i can start my practice, the sun is sucking me to go nearer to him. Instead of him giving providing energy, i need to give him in turn ha!! i felt im sticking to it like a piece of magnet.

I hope both the mother earth and the sun are better now. Do have compassion for the nature the trees, sun, earth the animal they all have feeling…

Human is the most terrible and ugliest being in this world yet we are the smartest the one with all the wisdom. I find it amusing when im typing out all this because im also a human being. I see it myself we have to blame ourselves for all our own doing we created what we think the permance and then get attached, clinging on, then we there we start our desire/ craving, after that goes to ego. Ha!! wonderful wisdom we are having!!

I felt upset for the yesterday…in fact even for the past few day. It was christmas, i was having some kind of dinner with my friends. During the gathering i felt terrible, as i see the ugly human mental and behavior. My quiet mind sees it, it was like a mirror of myself, i thought im terrible like them in the past in fact even sometime now.

I was totally quiet during my dinner not wanting to accumulate bad karma. Do all the being in this world sees it?? They are living day by day not realising and learning so do i. Im still learning my still cleaning the dust that had been accumulating for how many life time till now. Only by working hard to clean i will be able to see it.

I have to train my mind, so that i will not be affected by the external situation. So that i can stay still as peace when i sees the polluted world. Not letting myself to be affected, as im quite an emotional being. Happy, Angry, Sad, Jealous etc…. Im still an being.

Can you see it?? As clear as Crystal? Others is the reflection of You, You realise that Do you understand it? Ask yourself today, the every moment you read this!!

Just a few days ago… i doing my prayers, practice. Chanting as normal during my prayers, while visualising, i opened my eyes. Putting my intention looking down on my script, i saw white light in a form of ripple spreading out from my body… it looks near and kept coming out in that form..

As this is what i saw, i told remind myself not to put my attention on the ‘Funny’ stuff that i saw..I remember what my master told me. This ‘Funny’ stuff that happened is only the process it comes and it will go. They will not stay not permanent. Continuing the practices, i felt strong connection with the Boddhisattva Guru as i place focus, full concentration, whole heart in the practice.

I was really blessed, as a being, im fortuntate to be able to get in touch and connect. I wish and pray that may all beings experience the blessing. 

Things that happen around me seems bad.. but somehow i felt that m being blessed.Its blessing in disguise. Losing something and i have gain something. This is always the case. I know i will have alot to learn. Emotionally beaten yet somehow felt that the power is there. I know that i have to look things in a different angle…

Look, here what im trying to tell people out there is that sometimes we really cant stop things from happening. Im not a perfect person no one is perfect. Im a freak and i know myself, friends told me. Im super negative at times although im an athlete..Im a HUMAN. Im looking things at a different angle now. Sometimes we have to look at different angle, nothing to feel bad about it..because we cant stop things happening we cant change people.

How do we live on this earth applying spiritual teachings correctly to all human(ignorant human). Its not their fault because they doesnt know its just like we are in a dream state but we don’t know we are dreaming. Illusion. Im dreaming too, still not awake. I believe i can. Not only one but all my dreams i want to be awake no more dreaming.Ha…

To those who read this blog, lets be awake in our dreams. ASK FOR IT.

I hope to wake up in my dreams. And for most of the night i had dreams coming to me. Many of them clear and unclear, but still i did not wake. But i was half asleep and most of the time i was.

I felt super light everytime when im resting. I was like feather floating and i fall asleep. Not sure what happened, i felt myself wanting to vomit something out of my throat. I was disturb by the noise coming, im concious but im still sleeping. I felt somethings in the very end of my throat, a ball like stuff. When i was fully awake i closed my mouth and swallow it down instead of vomitting. But the funny thing is that, i swallow somethings and yet i cant feel it going down or to anywhere in my body.

What was that ball like stuff???…    

Its been a long time not writing anything,….and my practices continue from day to day.Whenever and wherever im, i always bring myself to the stage that i can get in touch with the universe. 

Walking in the street feeling like M&M with two legs. I have this big round cushion around my body making me feeling safe and comfort. This happens to me now adays, i felt able to draw energy when i want. But on the other hand i lost energy easily giving to others too… this results me keeping myself at home most of the time to store it up. My peace state of mind is totally inexplainable and being alone i felt bless and bliss to me. I can be so happy being alone at times though i enjoy the outing with my friends.

Feeling light and sometime walking on the street, i felt myself falling from somewhere.. which is so sudden that i thought i had fall from a certain height. I really wish my another body to see myself. How nice and fun it would be.

I was doing practice in one of the weekend morning, after the sun gazing to me it makes me feel being charge/ battery full.

After that i did Ren Du with huge tree i choose, it was fine and great feeling.After awhile i felt that i was being suck by a huge magnet. The huge tree is going to give me a hug!! as it draw my body near to itself. That was a fun practice, but i was afraid as im not sure what is going to happen to me. I thank the tree for that experience. I think im in love with the nature…

I looked at the sky almost everyday…. each day it appear the same yet different. There is light sparkling particle moving happily here and there and shinning beautifully. At time, gold white shinning. Seeing things as it is are really not that easy as distraction is always there..

Have you ever asked yourself this question? Am i awake?? Are you awake or are you still asleep??

How many of us realised and start asking ourself this. What is awake? Ask this question yourself everyday. If the answer comes to you, it will only be yours…